Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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