then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
