I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize
