we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
