it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
