why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
