and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Can you bring me the toilet please
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
