I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
