so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
