Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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