I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
