i can't believe i had my finger in that
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
