I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there was a trapeze. enough said
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
