I wanna bring you to show and tell
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
