glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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