Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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