Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
