so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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