You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
