so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
