i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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