okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
