what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
