yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
