The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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