he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
