So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
