There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
