Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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