Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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