no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
