My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
