Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
