I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
