i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
