last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
