Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
