You're completely useless in the revolution.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
