i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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