Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's shark week go big or go home
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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