this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It was confusing and full of hummus
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
