Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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