Buhtt sex?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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