Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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