my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
