is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
