I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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