Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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