A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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