i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
