I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
