You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
